IT might sound just like any regular Saturday night in Killarney as the well-fed file out of restaurants and head for the pubs, music strikes up in bars, revellers hit the dancefloors and happy tipplers spill out of late night venues and head for fast food sustenance before hailing a taxi to take them home.
But for the judges of a prestigious international competition for quality towns, the late night Killarney vibe will be a whole new experience when they hit the streets to decide whether we deserve to retain our Purple Flag status for being one of the best, safest and most engaging towns in the country, from dusk to dawn.
Independent adjudicators will hit town to review the progress made since Killarney’s initial accreditation in 2014 and the official 12-hour assessment, on August 5/6, will run from 4pm to 4am. The VIP guests will be escorted on a walkabout on the town, a tour of the pubs and clubs and restaurants and they will monitor the atmosphere on the streets before making their final deliberations. The local Purple Flag Working Group has a top class itinerary in the pipeline but here, just for a bit of fun, KillarneyToday.com suggests a list of five alternative activities for the judges to consider:
1. No night out in Killarney is complete without a discussion, possibly heated, certainly animated, about Gaelic football. They could pop into the the Tatler Jack or The Speakeasy and suggest that Legion are the only decent club in town or they could extol the virtues of championship specialists Dr Crokes from a high stool in Murphy’s or Dan Lenihan’s Bar. Now wouldn’t that be a fun way to while away an hour?
2. They could watch the young guys and gals making their way to the late night clubs and wonder why young bucks insist on having hair that looks like a half a bird’s nest and trousers so tight that circulation might be an issue. And if that’s not enough to keep them amused, they can observe young damsels in obvious distress, wobbling on heels half their height and trying to maintain some level of dignity while looking like a tower of giraffes with Athlete’s foot.
3. Half the fun’s wishing and if they’re not in they can’t win so they can’t leave town without buying a weekly Lotto ticket to show their support for one of the local football or soccer clubs. There’s a slight chance they might bump into a friendly chap in a red and white shirt who might be able to offer some helpful advice on number selection strategy. A great value Killarney experience for €2.
4. Locals will tell you that no Saturday night out in Killarney is a done deal without the obligatory snack box to shorten the journey home. They can try it with curry or with stuffing or with coleslaw or do what the locals do and chance it “with everything” which is a generous helping of all three. But try it they must. And the later it is, the better it tastes.
5. When the night is done, if they really want to make themselves popular, they should nonchalantly stroll past the long queue at the taxi rank and casually wander towards McSweeney’s Corner as if they’re planning a leisurely stroll home. Timing is everything and the minute a roof light comes into sight, as it winds its way down Lewis Road or towards town from the Friary, stick out the paw and hail it down. It works every time. And don’t forget to wave when you’re passing by the queue back at the rank.
